Fundamentals 101

I have begun to break down my questions and research into two categories. 

First, does it make sense for me to retire abroad?  And second, assuming I conclude that moving is at least somewhat rational, what are the next steps?  What research needs to be done, how do I prepare, how long do I need for this process, and where do I want to go?    

Does it make sense?  This involves making sure I have the financial wherewithal to make such a move and ensuring that I feel comfortable with the idea of living day-to-day using only the resources available in my new

Andrea and Brian in Venice  bgodiver

home, wherever that may be.  It also means that I am doing it for the right reasons, and not just for some romantic notion of adventure.  

Using local resources means trusting a foreign banking system and depending almost totally on myself until I’m established in my new setting.  I will have to make use of local health care, have a good means of communication (phone and, most importantly, fast and reliable internet), entrench myself in a new community with new friends and neighbors, most likely learn a new language, and either rent or purchase a new home.  But once that is accomplished, I still have my daily life to live, so will this provide me the opportunities to travel and grow as a person in ways that would not be possible if I remain in America?

I have the finances (or, at least, I believe I will within six to eight years) and based on the limited research done so far, it appears that there are many, many locations that would be cheaper than remaining in the US; in some cases far cheaper.  I’ve met with a couple of financial advisors to ensure that what I have won’t be lost in the market and that I will have a stable income with which to plan.

I have toyed with the idea of establishing an internet-based travel agency in the fashion of Andrea’s business or some other venture.  If done correctly, I think this could bring in additional income for travel while not being subject to US taxes.  From what I’ve read so far, most countries allow expats to establish businesses; you just can’t take a job from one of their citizens.  That seems fair.  I’ve started businesses in the past and I have no doubt that I can do it again.  Since starting a business would likely be for play money (travel) and not to meet my daily needs, there would not be as much pressure to succeed.  If I limit my financial exposure and it doesn’t work out -- no big deal.

So… I guess my upcoming posts will dive deeper into finances, health care and take a look at what I expect to get out of my daily retirement life, whether here or abroad.  Assuming I pass the common sense test, I’ll then move into research mode and figure out what needs to be done before such a move and what country would best suit my needs.

Back to Fundamentals

So, why move overseas?  What exactly is it that I think I will find outside of American borders? 

Well, to begin with, there is definitely the adventure aspect.  I've been fortunate to have traveled on every continent except Antarctica:  Asia (Thailand, Burma, Indonesia, Singapore and Hong Kong); semi-annual trips to see Andrea's relatives in Australia; vacations in Aruba and Venezuela; small parts of Europe (England a few times while her brother lived there, Germany, Gibralter, Hungary, Spain and Italy); Morocco and South Africa; and Mexico a few times along with various Caribbean islands.

These trips have only served to whet my appetite for more.  I used to piss off Andrea big time because I would usually bring my dive gear and would always want to stop in a hardware store.  I know – hardware store – are you kidding?  Well, with my remodeling background I am always curious to see how another culture tackles the same problem.  What creative way has someone else (likely with far less in terms of tools and materials) found to do the exact same thing that I did when renovating a building?  What role did their culture and access to resources play in the process? 



Ni, the Buddha carver

 These are some of the things I find fascinating about another country.  Roll your eyes if you want (Andrea sure did!), but this is the way I connected with a shop keeper whose family builds hand-made doors in Bangkok; the carver of Buddha statues in Mandaly, Burma; a mason in the Kasbah of Tangiers; and a panel bender (auto body mechanic) outside of Sowetto in South Africa.

This may not be your idea of adventure, but it is the stuff that gets me excited about submersing myself in another culture.  Our way of doing things is neither right nor wrong… just different.  This leads me to ask one of many fundamental questions:  While I would hardly describe myself as an adrenalin junky, would I be satisfied to live in relatively tame Belize or Uruguay?  Or do I need the greater stimulus of seaside Ecuador or a suburb of Chiang Mai?  Exotic is very cool when you’re on vacation, but is that the way I want to live for years on end?

If you’re starting to count the question marks (assuming somebody is actually reading my ramblings), you can stop now before you break your abacus.  There are a lot more questions than answers to come as I continue to think about more “fundamentals” before getting down to the plusses and minuses of specific locations.

Who am I?

OK, I did not go out and "find myself" in a matter of days and I didn't book a long weekend at an ashram to discover the essence of my inner being.  But I did sit down and write out a list of things I had always wanted to do.  I thought about long-term goals and I did some soul searching to honestly gauge what I could expect of myself when confronted with a different culture, the need to make new friends and, well, adapt.

I’m a new person without Andrea.  I’m also a lesser person without Andrea to support me and plug the gaps in my abilities.  Although losing her took place suddenly, the process of my change isn’t over yet and that’s one of the key things I had to realize.  The goals and aspirations that I had were intertwined (and still are) with “us.”  So while I am no longer held back by Andrea’s cautious nature, I also find myself constantly wondering what she would do.  Would she approve of my decisions, or would she rein me back in?  Am I aimed in the right direction or am I simply aimless?  She was the planner and researcher; can I really do this without her?  Good questions for which I have no answer… yet.

I have plenty of time to figure these things out since my initial goal is to head overseas in six or seven years.  In the meantime, I have found several books that have provided a jump start to my self-assessment.  Barry and Thia Golson have written an excellent book, Retirement Without Borders.  What I like about it is that they don’t try to make everything look rosy and, in fact, point out a lot of practical reasons not to move abroad.  Chapter six, “Checklist:  What’s Important to You (and Your Spouse)” is very relevant for me right now.  I read and re-read this chapter as I tried to judge whether retiring outside the US is really right for me.  They ask a lot of questions designed to get the emotions and brain in synch.  With each of their questions came a new page in my notebook as I jotted down things I know about myself in one column and questions in another.

Another book with a very different approach is Kathleen Pedicord’s “How to retire overseas.”  Kathleen’s experience has been very different because she moved for career reasons and became hooked on living as an expat.  She asked several of the same questions as Barry and Thia, but in a different way and from a different outlook.  Like so many things in life, there is no perfect way to approach a problem.  The more I read the more I gain a sense of myself in this process and how this will all turn out.

The question that I need to answer next is whether to focus on process or making decisions.  For now, process seems to be winning.  There are too many fundamental questions that need to be laid to rest before I can go back to figuring out if I want to live on the beach outside of Tulum, rent a flat in downtown Montivideo or find a mountain retreat in central Panama.  It’s getting late so the next great set of inquiries will have to wait.

Where should I go?

Once I had made the decision that I wanted to retire overseas, the first thing that hit me was that I didn’t have a clue as to where. Andrea was fluent in Spanish, Hungarian and spoke some French, while I am a hardcore Anglophone. So at first blush it seemed that some of the choices that would have made sense for the two of us now seemed out of the question. Fortunately I didn’t let common sense rule the day -- what point is there to having a dream if you let reality interfere?

Brian & Andrea with German friends
 Andrea & Andreas in Playa del Sol, Venezuela

I had been reading International Living’s Postcards (http://www.internationalliving.com/) for several years and, combined with my own travel experiences, a number of countries had piqued my interest. So I started buying books on Costa Rica, Belize, Mexico, Panama and Thailand. I set out on a one-man crusade to wear out Google in my search for the “right” country to settle in. I started making spreadsheets to catalog my findings, made incessant lists of things to do, research, read, etc. I was about to click on “Place your order” for my next box of books from Amazon when I realized what should have been obvious from the start – I don't know what I am doing or how to go about this.

So I set aside the books on specific countries for later reading, and instead focused on how to do decent research and figure out what it was that I was looking for. You can have the biggest flashlight in the forest, but if you don’t know what you’re looking for there is scant chance of shining any light on your subject.

Andrea specialized in destination weddings in her travel business and I remembered that she used to have lengthy discussions with the brides about what they wanted their once-in-a-lifetime honeymoon or wedding to look and feel like, not "Where do you want to go?" Once the parameters were established, many options came up for discussion. Using that same model I started to think about the places I had visited and what made them appealing (a touch of mystery, new cultures, and a bit of adventure). I thought about what it was that I want to do in retirement (learn to sail, attend a cooking school, volunteer, continue to travel and dive). I added to the list of considerations the climate I wanted to live in, the need to see family occasionally, the economic resources I would have and whether this aging brain of mine could master a new language.

I began a new list of priorities based on introspection and tried to wipe away the preconceived notions I had about what a great retirement location would be. I deleted the spreadsheets with meaningless data about living expenses and currency exchange rates (which would all change dramatically by the time I retire), and I began to focus on what it is retirement can mean for me. This new direction immediately gave me a sense of calm that the right place for my new home would become obvious once I had a better handle on who I am and how I want to live my remaining days. It also hit me -- hard -- that my partner in life is no longer here to tell me when I'm being an idiot and nudge me in the right direction.

The journey begins...

As I got older (I turn 56 this December) my wife and I had talked frequently about what retirement would look like and where it would take place.  Andrea was Australian and spent the first eight years of her life growing up in Melbourne.  She spent the next six years in the Philippines (Manila) before moving to the United States, followed by studies in Spain and Peru.  I, on the other hand, had traveled little outside of American borders before meeting Andrea and had never lived anywhere but the good ol' US of A.

Although we were fortunate to have traveled in many parts of the world before she died, we both had wanted to see and experience more.   We agreed that retiring "elsewhere" would give us the opportunity to continue exploring and get to know more people, places and cultures -- we didn't want life to become a downward spiral with the delivery of the first Social Security check.

After Andrea passed away on May 19 of this year, I became more determined than ever to make our dream happen.  I admit that this is now a pursuit of my passion, and not really for "us."  This is an admission that brings me to tears on a regular basis.

So, between now and retirement, my mission is to find the right place to call my new home.  There are so many questions to answer and with every day there seem to be increasingly more questions and a paucity of answers.  Where do I go?  Central America, Asia... or maybe Africa?  Buy or rent?  Will I have enough money?  What about health care, insurance costs and taxes?  How will I stay in touch with my family?  How often will I come back to see them?  And, most importantly, how will I do this without Andrea to push and cajole me along the way?

The questions are endless and I hope to use my ruminating as a way to catalog my thoughts while making my plans.  I anticipate making my first exploratory trips to Belize and Mexico next year, and have set a goal of moving “elsewhere” within the next six or seven years.  Some of my friends openly (and, I’m sure, family secretly) think I’m nuts.  That’s fine; at least I will entertain them as I look for Brian’s New Home.