Yesterday was my birthday—56 years since first appearing on God’s earth. I was feeling sorry for myself because this was my first birthday without Andrea. I’ve never been one to celebrate much, so it wasn’t that I didn’t feel much like celebrating, it was that this became just one more day to focus on the loss of my best friend and soul mate. After work, I spent the evening with a bowl of popcorn and a movie whose name I have already forgotten. A friend from work called to see how I was doing and I finally fell apart. I can’t pretend that all is well, but I also can’t spend my days moping about; finding the right balance while mending my heart is difficult.
Today as I was getting ready to attend a wedding, I decided that the first day of the new year had to be a new start for me as well as my friends who are beginning a new life together. There will still be many days that I will fall apart, but I am determined to find new ways to be positive and heal, while not forgetting. If Melly and Dean have even half as many wonderful days that Andrea and I did, they will be truly blessed.
It is wholly appropriate to mourn the loss of my wife and healthy to grieve, but I must move forward as well. The problem is that there are many difficult days throughout the year… the anniversary of her death, our birthdays, our wedding anniversary and the holidays; they are each difficult in their own way.
So, on that somber note, let the new year begin.
So, on that somber note, let the new year begin.
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