Go on a date? Seriously???

There must be something in the water at work. Over the last couple weeks two different friends came to me asking if I would like to meet their friend or sister-in-law. Yes, it has been over a year since Andrea died but I was still surprised that they thought this was a good idea. I have been thinking about the possibility and am not opposed to it, but have held off on acting on my desires because I want to make sure I am doing it for the right reasons. Nonetheless, I remain surprised that these two women think it is time. Both of them are Latin, one from Columbia and the other from Dominica, so maybe there are cultural differences that come into play.

I have to admit I have also been concerned that others might think it is too soon and haven't paid as much attention to what I feel.  As I have toyed with the idea of dating again the biggest road block is how to tell my in-laws. I think my brother-in-law and his wife would be fine with it and my sisters would think it is great. My concern is telling my father and mother-in-law, who have over the years become my parents since my mother and farther have both passed on. This is a toughie.

Anyway, my reaction to these dating overtures was interesting. I didn't laugh and suggest it was a silly idea.  I wasn't horrified at the prospect.  I was actually excited about the idea of dating again. You know how you may be thinking about something but it isn't until someone else suggests it that you get a true gauge of your emotions. My emotions about dating are... good. My loneliness has lessened over time and I think I can honestly scratch that off my list of hindrances (in other words I would not be dating to sooth the pain of being lonely).

I don't think you ever truly "get over" the loss of your spouse, you just allow it to affect your life less as your heart heals. You move on and find a new woman take into your life and your lost spouse becomes a fond but dwindling memory while you build a new life. I knew a couple in Key West that faced serious challenges because she remarried when she should not have; she wasn't over the loss of her husband and brought him up in conversation all the time. She just wasn't ready.

I find myself both excited and terrified at the prospect of dating again. It's been twenty years since my last date and I'm having to remember how to do this. Maybe it's like riding a bicycle... you never fully lose the ability to make a total fool of yourself in front of the woman you're trying to impress. That should tell you a bit about my dating skills in years gone by. Wish me good luck!