Tuesday, August 16, 2011

A potential game changer...

I haven't written for a while because I had a seizure on August 6th and a lot has been happening since then.  At least I thought I had a seizure.

I was volunteering at a back-to-school wellness event with a couple of colleagues.  All was going well when I collapsed around 11:15 a.m.  I woke up to find two EMTs and my colleagues hovering over me and I was being wheeled out to an ambulance.  My colleagues informed the EMTs of my history of epilepsy (I had a seizure in November 1979 and a second one in February 2009) and coupled with the short-term memory loss I was experiencing, they naturally concluded that I had had another seizure.  As I was recovering on the way to the emergency room I came to the same conclusion.  The ER ran an EKG, did a CAT scan and did other routine tests and ultimately released me after a few hours.

Once I got home and the gravity of the matter began to sink in I was absolutely devastated.  After my last seizure I couldn't drive for a year.  It was a total pain in the ass but having to go without driving now that I am living alone would be very difficult.  I don't like having to depend on others… it makes me feel useless and lacking control over my life.  The next morning I noticed that the pill box I use to hold my collection of prescription medicines and supplements was missing my seizure medication.  I use two pill boxes (one for morning and one for evening) that hold two weeks of medications and I was 11 days through the boxes -- 11 days without taking my  anti-seizure pills.  So, not only was I exhausted from working hard and getting very little sleep, I had unwittingly gone cold turkey from my meds.  On the one hand this is good news, but on the other hand I still might have to quit driving depending on what the doc said.

Not only would this have a big impact on my November travel plans since I would have to use public transportation instead of driving -- this could be a total game changer.  What would the inability to drive do to my retirement plans?  Would I have to live in a city instead of on the water?  Would I have to give up my plans of moving abroad altogether? 

Waiting a week to get in to see my neurologist seemed an eternity as I dealt with various waves of emotions.  I went from just starting to feel good about my life again after losing Andrea to feeling depressed and full of self pity at the prospect of seeing the rest of my life altered -- again!

After describing my collapse and the week that led up to the event, my doctor said he does not believe I had a seizure.  He is not exactly sure what happened but has ordered up a series of tests to first rule out heart problems (an echocardiogram and a 24-hour ambulatory heart monitor) and to get a fresh reading on my brain (an ambulatory EEG).  Fortunately his admin was able to get these scheduled for the same time so I will go in next Monday morning to have the echocardiogram and get wired up for 24 hours for the other two tests, and I will return on Tuesday morning to get un-wired.  Hopefully all these tests will be revealing since I am sure I will still bear some significant cost even after what the insurance pays.  The most immediate and critical impact of my doctor's conclusion is that I can still drive.  I will go see my in-laws this weekend (they live about an hour or so south of me) and do some long-term shopping just in case he changes his mind.  I am convinced that the lack of medication and border-line exhaustion caused a collapse and I am not concerned about a relapse.

I am not exactly sure how I came to my decision, but I am booking flights to Panama for November using miles on either Delta or American.  I will go on November 3 and return on November 13.  I will keep playing the booking hold game until it is evident that I won't be able to get a Delta flight for 45,000 miles since the Delta schedule is not as good as the American one and I only need 30,000 miles on American.  Saving the Delta miles also makes sense if I am able to use them next year for that trip to Morocco, which I r-e-a-l-l-y want to go on.

So… Panama it is.  I will start a new blog in tandem with this one to track my planning and the trip itself.  More to come.

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